(no subject)

[alg]

I had a really interesting experience this past weekend. I was at the Silicon Valley Romance Writers' business conference thingie, and I did a 45 minute Q&A. I was asked:

What are the things that make you cringe during a pitch session?

My answer was twofold:

1. When someone sits down and says, "I submitted something to you a few weeks ago and I want to talk about what you thought."

Jeez! There is pretty much no way that I am going to remember your submission, if I have even read it yet, which is, frankly, unlikely. I mean, that is just absurd. Not to mention that even though I personally tend to go through my submissions myself (even if/when I have someone act as "first reader" on some), lots of other editors do not.

As I have said before, more than once, we are not paid to read submissions. Assistants are paid to read an editor's submissions (at least partially, anyway) -- editors are paid to edit. Editors are paid to make their companies money. Okay, yes, it is totally more complicated than that, and I am not being fair or realistic -- but come on. It's neither fair nor realistic to expect (a) that I would have even read your submission yet, or (b) that I'd remember it.

2. When someone sits down and says, "I don't have anything to pitch to you -- I just wanted to meet you."

By doing this, that person is taking time away from someone who could be pitching to me. If you want to meet me, hook up with me at the bar like everyone else. We'll do tequila shots, I'll show you pictures of my cats, and by the end of the night (or drink), you will have one of my business cards, and an invitation to send your work to me if it's the sort of thing I acquire.

And if you don't know what I acquire, Google my name.

(To use an example that isn't me, if you buy Hilary Sares a drink, and she gives you a card, and you're not sure that what you write is what she acquires -- well, Google her name, and you will see that the first link is to a bio where it says plainly what she's acquiring. Hell, the worst that can happen is that she sends you a form reject, right?)

To sum up, in the words of jaylake: Don't be an idiot.

The interesting thing that happened to me, though, was this: people who I remembered from the panel, did exactly the above things, even after I'd said not to.

And not one person did tequila shots with me at the bar later, although I did have several delightful conversations over a vodka collins (with cherries and olives, thank you).

Comments

[hoosier-red.livejournal.com]

Tequila shots -- got it.

[anonymisty.livejournal.com]

I'm a tequila girl from way back. I'm pretty sure I don't write what you acquire, but I promise, should we ever find ourselves at the same conference together, I will absolutely do shots with you. 'Cause that's just the kind of thoughtful person I am.

*grin*

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

A vodka collins with cherries and olives??!!

I rarely get orders for collins drinks. I have been getting more since the bar where I work put a Tom Collins, attractively photographed, in the drinks menu, but people usually don't know what they are, they've just heard of them. When I ask "vodka or gin" most of these people look at the menu, where it says "Tanqueray", and look puzzled because they don't know what kind of liquor that is. So I sigh, and make it as described in the menu, and half-expect them to send it back because it's really not as sweet as it looks like it ought to be.

I always garnish them with a lemon if I'm in a hurry, or a cherry and orange if I'm not. I have never heard of putting olives in. This intrigues me.



I don't generally do tequila shots, but if I ever finish this bloody manuscript I will. :)

[coneycat.livejournal.com]

I did one tequila shot one time and decided if I ever needed really heavy-duty cough medicine, that would be the only time I'd ever do that again. I'm an embarrassing wuss.

On the other hand, I'm also an extremely reliable designated driver.

[antonstrout.livejournal.com]

I really feel that more people should be buying us publishing folks drinks on a more regular basis... perhaps we could set up a fund for this...

[spartana07.livejournal.com]

tequila: the drink that teaches us about ourselves!

[aulus-poliutos.livejournal.com]

I'd be so lost at such meetings. I only drink Scottish Single Malt Whisky (no ice!) but all those agents and editors drink tequila and gin. :)

But then, I haven't yet found a way to condense my novels into one sentence to pitch, either. At least not one sentence that would hook those tequila and gin drinking agents and editors, not even after they had lots of said beverages. *grin*

[lilac-wine.livejournal.com]

I've never tried olives in a vodka collins. It's not too sweet to ruin the salty goodness that is olive?

[aberrantvirtue.livejournal.com]

I actually considered heading down that direction since I knew someone who was attending and trying to locate you in the bar. But then my nice warm bed and catching up on all the sleep I missed last week because I had to get up early for my boss who was on east coast time won out.

I apologize. I would have loved to see pictures of your cat and drink tequila.

[alg.livejournal.com]

I don't like the olives in the drink -- olives on a toothpick to be eaten slowly after sips. It makes the olives saltier, and the drink sweeter. Yum!

[alg.livejournal.com]

Well, I don't believe in the one-sentence pitch anyway! And I love Scotch quite a bit, actually, but it's hard to get the stuff I like at most hotel bars.

[spartana07.livejournal.com]

I have never been to a writing conference before but I want to go to one. Anyone know where I can find information on such events? I live in NYC.

[alg.livejournal.com]

Awwwww. Frankly, I'd've chosen my nice warm bed and lots of sleep over drinking as well! I was in bed before 10 PM CA time both nights. :)

[alg.livejournal.com]

Writing conferences are everywhere. Pick a genre and do a google search! If you write romance, I suggest checking out the "Put Your Heart in a Book" convention that the New Jersey Romance Writers group host every November.

[alg.livejournal.com]

Actually, I don't expect people to buy my drinks -- I have an expense account for a reason. But I do expect people to tell me entertaining stories and join me in the drinking!

[alg.livejournal.com]

Heeeeeeeee.

Tequila shots make me fall asleep too. I'm actually more of a vodka girl. But I've made a vow to do at least one tequila shot at every con I go to this year. Just, um, because I felt like it. :)

[alg.livejournal.com]

I love vodka collins sooo much. Although the ones I get are usually pretty sweet. I wonder why.

People who cannot order liquor are annoying. Pooh to them!

[alg.livejournal.com]

I appreciate the sacrifice on your part!

[spartana07.livejournal.com]

I have done a few google searches. I write mainstream fiction, and I am just wary of going to a convention that might turn out to be some sort of scam. I don't know...

[jordansummers1.livejournal.com]

***2. When someone sits down and says, "I don't have anything to pitch to you -- I just wanted to meet you."***

Cringe. This actually comes from RWA talks on pitching to editors. They suggest meeting with an editor even if you don't have anything to pitch, so you can find out what they read and what they're looking for. :/

[alg.livejournal.com]

Conventions that are scams are pretty rare. If there are a bunch of famous writers that you want to meet, chances are it's not a scam. Off the top of my head: Maui writers con (http://www.mauiwriters.com/) and Pikes Peak (http://www.ppwc.net/), Surrey (http://www.siwc.ca/), and Willamette (http://www.willamettewriters.com/).

[alg.livejournal.com]

I find it infuriating, especially when I know that there are people who actually have stuff to pitch to me who couldn't get pitch appointments.

Infuriating.

People who want to know what agents and editors are looking for should come to the damned Q&A sessions.

[authorm.livejournal.com]

Sadly, my consumption of alcohol can't extend to doing shots, though I love tequila in margaritas. However, I do prefer a nice glass of Jameson which I sip like the delicate flower I am. Ahem.

So. Next con we're both at, I'll buy you a few shots of tequila and I'll sip my whisk-AY! Howzat?

[spartana07.livejournal.com]

That's good to know. Thanks for the tips above and on all your posts- you are really helping this newbie :)

[dragonlady7.livejournal.com]

"Pretty sweet" is still not sweet enough for those sort of expecting Kool-Aid. Those who really don't know what they want usually wind up ordering fruit juice confections that are mostly sugar. (The sole actually-good original drink in our Corporate Menu O'Ignorance is a "spiced peach punch" which is Cap't Morgan, peach schnapps, orange juice, sour mix and a splash of Sprite. It's sort of like drinking a liquid hangover forecast. It's really good. I drink it when I'm not in the mood for Scotch, and want to get unsuspectingly hammered, and sort of don't have any plans for the next day or two.)

People who cannot order liquor are annoying enough, but I prefer them just ordering something off the menu instead of standing there going "ummmm" for twenty minutes. I work in the bar at the airport, and a lot of people drink there who don't usually go to bars.