alg | (no subject)

I had a really interesting experience this past weekend. I was at the Silicon Valley Romance Writers' business conference thingie, and I did a 45 minute Q&A. I was asked:

What are the things that make you cringe during a pitch session?

My answer was twofold:

1. When someone sits down and says, "I submitted something to you a few weeks ago and I want to talk about what you thought."

Jeez! There is pretty much no way that I am going to remember your submission, if I have even read it yet, which is, frankly, unlikely. I mean, that is just absurd. Not to mention that even though I personally tend to go through my submissions myself (even if/when I have someone act as "first reader" on some), lots of other editors do not.

As I have said before, more than once, we are not paid to read submissions. Assistants are paid to read an editor's submissions (at least partially, anyway) -- editors are paid to edit. Editors are paid to make their companies money. Okay, yes, it is totally more complicated than that, and I am not being fair or realistic -- but come on. It's neither fair nor realistic to expect (a) that I would have even read your submission yet, or (b) that I'd remember it.

2. When someone sits down and says, "I don't have anything to pitch to you -- I just wanted to meet you."

By doing this, that person is taking time away from someone who could be pitching to me. If you want to meet me, hook up with me at the bar like everyone else. We'll do tequila shots, I'll show you pictures of my cats, and by the end of the night (or drink), you will have one of my business cards, and an invitation to send your work to me if it's the sort of thing I acquire.

And if you don't know what I acquire, Google my name.

(To use an example that isn't me, if you buy Hilary Sares a drink, and she gives you a card, and you're not sure that what you write is what she acquires -- well, Google her name, and you will see that the first link is to a bio where it says plainly what she's acquiring. Hell, the worst that can happen is that she sends you a form reject, right?)

To sum up, in the words of

jaylake: Don't be an idiot.

The interesting thing that happened to me, though, was this: people who I remembered from the panel, did exactly the above things, even after I'd said not to.

And not one person did tequila shots with me at the bar later, although I did have several delightful conversations over a vodka collins (with cherries and olives, thank you).

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***2. When someone sits down and says, "I don't have anything to pitch to you -- I just wanted to meet you."***

Cringe. This actually comes from RWA talks on pitching to editors. They suggest meeting with an editor even if you don't have anything to pitch, so you can find out what they read and what they're looking for. :/

I find it infuriating, especially when I know that there are people who actually have stuff to pitch to me who couldn't get pitch appointments.

Infuriating.

People who want to know what agents and editors are looking for should come to the damned Q&A sessions.

I agree with you. It's very difficult to get a pitch appointment. I'm not condoning their behavior. I just know that I've attended several RWA sessions that gave out the 'meet with the editor, even if you don't have anything' advice. That's probably why you experience so much of it.

Miss Snark has given this advice more than once. She tells people to ask questions instead of pitch their books.

Not that I'm, you know, trying to start a fight between you guys or anything.

But I don't think Miss Snark was telling people to take a pitch appointment if they don't have a completed manuscript--just that she thinks it's better to describe your book in a few brief sentences, then ask the editor or agent questions, than to stutter nervously through a 10-minute detailed synopsis of your plot.

It appears (http://misssnark.blogspot.com/2005/11/news-flash-agents-are-human-beings.html) that I simplified her advice to the point of... well, lying. Mea cuppa.

Nghh. I think if I was one of the people who didn't get a pitch appointment, I'd be pretty pissed off.

At Writers' Weekend last year I ended up with one of the "pizza with an agent/editor" slots rather than a pitch session, which was probably of more real use to me at the time, given that I was as interested in getting advice about trying to sell m/m romance as in pitching it. But at least I *had* something to pitch, had I been lucky and got a pitch session. And I would have been most annoyed if I'd found out that someone had wasted a pitch slot with one of the editors I wanted to pitch to. For the love of God, you can and should do some checking on those agents and editors before you ever get to the conference, so you have some idea of who to annoy in the bar.

That's always what I thought. If you don't have anything to pitch, why sign up for a pitch session? ^_-

Oh I'd be hot if someone took a spot I couldn't get just to tell you hi and try and show you what a special snowflake they were.

I've seen that advice elsewhere. I've always figured it was probably pretty rude. I mean, if an editor/agent asks you and you start with "Well, it's not really up your alley, but..." that's different. But if you are signing up for a pitch session, have a pitch. Even if you don't actually have a book, have a bloody pitch.

(Here we see why I could not do

alg's job. Someone would say this to me and I would respond with "Then get out of that chair so someone who has something to pitch can talk to me." Probably not the first time it happened. Probably not even the second or third. But eventually? Oh yeah.)