Being on the Internet, the advanced class
May. 12th, 2010 07:23 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
algI talk a lot about "Being on the Internet 101" -- with the assumption that everyone reading my blog is pretty much past that. I usually interact with people running on the assumption that we are all at "Super Advanced Being on the Internet" or even that we are all teaching the post-graduate classes.
For sure I have, like, six PhDs in Being on the Internet, and sometimes I wonder if I really should teach a class! A lot of things I see happening on the Interwebs would not be happening if people had taken a class. (A class like "Being on the Internet" or a class like "Have Some Freaking Sense! Your Grandma Would Be So Ashamed!!")
I might even write a big blog post about it one of these days, when I'm finished editing the several hundred thousand words on my plate for May.
Until then, I think this will suffice: Please not only think about what you are saying but also why you say it.
I've boiled down my own types of comments to these few:
From reading the comments at news stories and social justice blogs, I know there are people who feel compelled to post comments that are nonsensical, full of name-calling and "I hope you get $disease" or whatever. I guess that falls into the final category, albeit a way more extreme (and rude) version than anything I've ever experienced.
Those final three are, to me, the most problematic.
#4 is derailing. If the conversation in question is any more serious than talking about the latest episode of White Collar, it's inappropriate. I restrain myself, and send a PM or e-mail. Most people don't mind getting an e-mail that says, "I didn't want to derail your discussion of $group representation in Supernatural, but I wanted to tell you that I love the icon you used in that post, and also that tricky thing you did with the HTML." But that same thing posted as a comment to the entry/blog post in question is inappropriate.
#5 can be really helpful, but it can also be awful. #5 is the one I personally have the most trouble with, because I am a know-it-all. I find that a lot of times I have to restrain myself from posting things just because I know them, getting involved in discussions I don't have any investment in just because I know I am right, etc. Even if the original poster has asked a question and I know the answer -- if I don't want to interact, if I just want to answer the question to show that I know the answer, I don't. I close the tab, put down my computer and walk away -- get a glass of water or make coffee, eat a banana, put in a load of laundry, do a quick-n-easy crossword puzzle.
(Or sometimes I use that as the jumpoff to write my own blog entry. That is how I get a lot of inspiration: Seeing how people get it wrong.)
Do I even have to say that #6 is never appropriate or acceptable?
I don't want to use the old saw that if it's not something you'd say under your real name, don't say it at all, because there are plenty of things I say on the internet that I don't sign my real life name to. And sometimes, frankly, it is dangerous to sign your real name to things -- on the internet and in real life. To dismiss that is naïve at best and disingenuous in the middle and malicious at worst.
What I have is an internet pseudonym. It's been around since 2003; using it, I've had a blog, made comments, posted fanfic, made friends who I've then met in real life, gone to cons... My pseudonym has more social currency with most of the internet groups I hang out with than my real name does.
Yet sometimes I find myself wanting to post a comment that I wouldn't sign my real name or my pseud to. I find myself wishing that certain journals or websites wouldn't ban anon commenting because they are so wrong about something and I have to let them know, but I don't want to deal with it.
Not acceptable!!! So I fire off a whiny e-mail to a trusted friend, or write in my paper journal a furious screed about People Who Are Wrong On The Internet OMG, or I literally go for a walk.
Everyone has shameful urges. My shameful urges just happen to involve saying mean things to stupid people on the internet. I can happily say that I have never actually done it -- just thought about it a lot!
I suggest you do not do it either.
If you're in the mood, talk to me in the comments about what you think. Do you correct people who are wrong who haven't asked to be corrected? When do you comment with criticism? Do you totally disagree with me on every point?
For sure I have, like, six PhDs in Being on the Internet, and sometimes I wonder if I really should teach a class! A lot of things I see happening on the Interwebs would not be happening if people had taken a class. (A class like "Being on the Internet" or a class like "Have Some Freaking Sense! Your Grandma Would Be So Ashamed!!")
I might even write a big blog post about it one of these days, when I'm finished editing the several hundred thousand words on my plate for May.
Until then, I think this will suffice: Please not only think about what you are saying but also why you say it.
I've boiled down my own types of comments to these few:
- I want to post something affirming. When someone writes something I agree with, a "Hell yeah!" is good; when someone writes fiction I like, I tend to go with, "I really loved this" (or more detailed versions of the two).
- I genuinely want to interact with the people who are discussing this, and have a discussion about This Topic.
- I don't necessarily want to discuss, but I do want to share my experiences -- either because the same thing happened to me, or the opposite happened to me.
- I do not care about the topic or the comments or the discussion, but I would like to compliment your icon, or ask how you did the nifty HTML trick.
- You are totally wrong, and here's why. Sometimes this is a helpful comment ("You are totally wrong about your condemnation of every person who works in the publishing industry, and here is why...") but sometimes this is not a helpful comment ("You are totally wrong because you are stupid, and I wish to slap you in the face with a trout or at the very least pour quinoa into your underpants.").
- You are wrong and stupid and I hate you and everything you stand for, and how did you get a license to be on the internet, and how do I get the internet taken away from you?
From reading the comments at news stories and social justice blogs, I know there are people who feel compelled to post comments that are nonsensical, full of name-calling and "I hope you get $disease" or whatever. I guess that falls into the final category, albeit a way more extreme (and rude) version than anything I've ever experienced.
Those final three are, to me, the most problematic.
#4 is derailing. If the conversation in question is any more serious than talking about the latest episode of White Collar, it's inappropriate. I restrain myself, and send a PM or e-mail. Most people don't mind getting an e-mail that says, "I didn't want to derail your discussion of $group representation in Supernatural, but I wanted to tell you that I love the icon you used in that post, and also that tricky thing you did with the HTML." But that same thing posted as a comment to the entry/blog post in question is inappropriate.
#5 can be really helpful, but it can also be awful. #5 is the one I personally have the most trouble with, because I am a know-it-all. I find that a lot of times I have to restrain myself from posting things just because I know them, getting involved in discussions I don't have any investment in just because I know I am right, etc. Even if the original poster has asked a question and I know the answer -- if I don't want to interact, if I just want to answer the question to show that I know the answer, I don't. I close the tab, put down my computer and walk away -- get a glass of water or make coffee, eat a banana, put in a load of laundry, do a quick-n-easy crossword puzzle.
(Or sometimes I use that as the jumpoff to write my own blog entry. That is how I get a lot of inspiration: Seeing how people get it wrong.)
Do I even have to say that #6 is never appropriate or acceptable?
I don't want to use the old saw that if it's not something you'd say under your real name, don't say it at all, because there are plenty of things I say on the internet that I don't sign my real life name to. And sometimes, frankly, it is dangerous to sign your real name to things -- on the internet and in real life. To dismiss that is naïve at best and disingenuous in the middle and malicious at worst.
What I have is an internet pseudonym. It's been around since 2003; using it, I've had a blog, made comments, posted fanfic, made friends who I've then met in real life, gone to cons... My pseudonym has more social currency with most of the internet groups I hang out with than my real name does.
Yet sometimes I find myself wanting to post a comment that I wouldn't sign my real name or my pseud to. I find myself wishing that certain journals or websites wouldn't ban anon commenting because they are so wrong about something and I have to let them know, but I don't want to deal with it.
Not acceptable!!! So I fire off a whiny e-mail to a trusted friend, or write in my paper journal a furious screed about People Who Are Wrong On The Internet OMG, or I literally go for a walk.
Everyone has shameful urges. My shameful urges just happen to involve saying mean things to stupid people on the internet. I can happily say that I have never actually done it -- just thought about it a lot!
I suggest you do not do it either.
If you're in the mood, talk to me in the comments about what you think. Do you correct people who are wrong who haven't asked to be corrected? When do you comment with criticism? Do you totally disagree with me on every point?